let downs

just when things are for once going right in my life. people continue to let me down. as a kid i always struggled to make friends. maybe its because i was always a little awkward as a child, or maybe its because ive always valued the importance of a true relationship over simple friendship, because of this i don't have many friends. However the people that  i have in my life are solid dependable people that i let into my life, because ive taken the time to determine if i really want them apart of my life. this winter i took a gamble and let someone in very close to me, and let myself be very close with them in a very short period of time. in this period of time i feel that i developed a relationship with another person that would have other wise taken months to develop. things were great till they decided that they would rather be a friend, than foster a relationship. the question i know struggle with is wither or not i can let my self be their friend, because when it comes to friendship i would rather be 100 percent in and have few dependable people close to me, or nothing at all. i feel as if i have let myself down, by letting something so great, develop in such a short time.