why do i do it

going into any chance to be competitive on my bike im jittery with excitment.

then the race comes. and i feel nervous.

then the race starts. and it sucks, i instantly hate every thing im doing at that specific moment.

then the race ends...and holy fuck that was awesome feeling rolls around. and i think about how awesome every thing was about the race. all the way up to the next race

and into the start of the next race...when everything sucks again.